The tale of hair

Noticing people’s hair is my hobby, commenting on them is my habit.

The wow so long hair: Some hairs have to have the patience of bearing hours of shampooing, hours of tying up, and hours of untangling. These are the hair, which have to bear the piercing glazes of people; the glazes might be of jealously or of admiration, that depends on the luck of the hair. This hair has to undergo all sorts of sensitive treatments, because they grow bit by bit, over years of careful hair meditation of their owners. Even though they weigh too much, they have owners who are proud of them because they get trophies of appreciations every time someone notices the hair. Obviously, you do not have to notice such hair because the hair makes itself noticeable. However, so much attention that the hair receives can make their owners are angry; on their Facebook profile picture, instead of commenting that you look nice, they comment that your hair looks nice. Therefore, bear with the inequality you ‘wow so long hair’ owners.

The Romantic Hair: Some hair has more feelings than we can imagine. Sometimes, when the hair wants to read a text that is exciting for it, it jumps on our face to read the text, as you would jump if there were a cockroach in your pant. They also make sure to move passionately in a way, which would make other people realise that you are smiling or giggling at someone’s text. They all droop around our head like they had some hangover last night and now they cannot stay in their combed positions anymore. When you tuck them back, they do not obey your command, they just sink down your head that makes people think you are blushing. They make sure to fly bit by bit when your crush comes in front of you, giving the Hindi movie romantic scene effect. Where the heroine’s hair starts flying automatically when her lover romances her, even if she is inside her house where the windows are shut.

The busy hair: Some hair is so busy running around everywhere, that they are unable to keep a steady position throughout the day. They keep shifting themselves from one area of head to another; sometimes 180, 90 or sometimes even 360 degree when the owner droop her/his head in exhaustion. They have a special power of flight. They are always flying behind the owners head- while the owners climb the stairs when she gets late to class, or the owner runs to submit a deadline crossed assignment. As the busy owner runs here and there, the hair flaps along the owner’s head. At night, the hair in exhaustion spreads around the pillow like a peacock’s feather in the rain. However, even at night the busy hair is tossed all around and gets little sleep. Nevertheless the next day again, it is tamed with a comb, and is made ready to flutter and keep up the pace of its owner.

The Stubborn hair: Some hair has the habit of troubling their owner for infinitive passage of time. No matter how many times the comb has gone through the strands of hair, they have taken the vow to never un-tangle. These are the hair, which sticks to each other like newly married couples and refuse to separate easily. When they become angry of their owners efforts to tame them, they announce non-violent strikes by falling off from the owners scalp. They also have other methods of taking revenge from its owner, where they cause immense pain to the owners when they try to comb them off. Sometimes they stuck the comb in themselves until it takes two or three people to take off the comb, and the owner gives up finally. When you see stray strands of hair lying down here and there on the washroom floors, you should know they are the stubborn hair.

The makeup hair: Some hair has the quality to make your mouth remain open when you see the shinning perfect hair of models. Such hair has serums, bobby pins, and sprays heaped up on them to torture the hair. To make a simple bun, the hair is stuffed with some more than sixty bobby pins, because their hair has to be the embodiment of perfection. The heat of straightner and the attack of chemicals in shampoo’s are something the hair endures every day, or maybe every hour that they have to be on stage. Let’s not even talk about how the stylist plays his/her new tricks on these hair, sometimes making them look good and sometimes making them look like whole new species. Their poor hair does not rest even in nights, where it is rolled up in small rollers .This hair is like water, it takes the shape of whatever it is put in, if straightner then straight or if rollers then curls. Every action has an equal and opposite reaction, so the pain in this hair comes out as a forced smile on their owners face’s on stage.

The best hair: The best hair is that which does not realise that it exists- the baby’s hair. While other hairs sob with the worldly tensions of combing themselves in morning, painting them red, tucking them well before going to class, clipping them stylishly or blow-drying them, the babies hair are the cool dudes who do not have to do any of these. Their owners just have to get up and cry, eat and cry, shit and cry, crawl etc. Nowhere do they have any hair routines in their regular life. They sit like prince/princesses and get their hair washed, combed, and groomed; something the grownups have to pay thousands of rupees for in the parlor. They have people to oil their hair with Johnson’s baby products and give their heads baby oil massage. People are more worried about their hair than the hair themselves are. The best part about this hair is that they do not fall, and not tamed by their owners, because their owners are as amateur as they are. Therefore, they are the best hair and they have the best owners.